Hope skips a class!

Yay for Hope! Hope is good, we all should have Hope, without Hope- there is darkness all around.

OK lets's see. We are behind a couple of days, so we better squeeze a mom update in here too. So I had my 15th dose of my current chemo on Wed- both Cispaltin and Gemzar. My Onc is still on vacation. I got excited for a minute, as substitute Onc read notes wrong and was scheduling me for a PET scan this coming week. I believe she scheduled it anyways, but had to come back to inform me notes said for the end of June. I'm looking at the calendar, sure more waiting but the end of the month is not that far. Highlight of chemo was realizing that I was 2 hours before I got hooked up. So I asked my nurse if she knew how to walk Hope pretty quickly, before she hooked me up. I told her what I knew about my friend walking her through the shortcut by radiation, instead of up the parking lot ramps. I could see the grass, just not sure how to get there. I thought it was just a courtyard! I picked her brain, and off I went. I was in my new usual parking spot in the Cancer Center parking in the garage. Into the elevator we went, and we got off on the radiation floor. My favorite receptionist saw me come in, and showed me the way...after greeting Hope, of course! She grabbed 2 magazines, for the 2 doors right around the corner. There we were on the backside of the hospital. Quick potty, and back in. Too cool, as long as we don't get in trouble. We can do this in 10 minutes. Soon enough, she won't be able to go wait for me during chemo, as it will be too warm. Now we know what the secret trick is, plus I can see her out the window if someone else takes her. So that's it, nothing exciting health wise. Feeling good, and not even very tired yet. Could have something to do with the sunshine?

We had another training session with Carrie yesterday. She met us near 13th and Shillinger again, to go visit the dogs. I think all we saw was the 5 bassets, and the lonely jack russell. In fact, we didn't make it very far down the street. Carrie said we just skipped a class, and we went back to the van for the 30 ft. lead!
A couple of posts ago I talked about walking Hope through there, and it was hard to treat her right...because she was doing so good with the dogs. Between what I told Carrie about that, and how Hope was acting...we just graduated. Good girl Hope, and good girl mom too!

So back off we went. I have discovered that I really not am as anal as some people would think. If so, there is no way in heck I could have let all that leash just drag around behind me! Letting it drag is just the easiest way, as long as you keep it away from cars. It's a bit tricky to get used to, but no big deal. We are now working off the 10' mark on the lead. We bumped it up a notch with our comes, which involves more waiting, and mom without treats in her hand initially. Took me a few to catch up with what Carrie was wanting us to do, but I think I got the jist. Hope is just so anxious for more treats, sometimes it seems hard to learn to do it the right way. Carrie doesn't seem to think so, she says we are right on track. With our "there's our friends", we have also bumped it up a notch with our "leave its" Now we do 1 "leave it", get past the dogs, and a second treat as a "good leave it". Now we are starting to work on not so much treating, as she isn't paying much mind to all the dogs in the hood.

So we parted ways for another week. Hope and I went off to The Trailhead to purchase 33' of climbing rope stuff. We were quite happy- $14.85 for material, $1.79 for clip....and mom gets to sew. An hour later, here is our new 30' lead!

Carrie will be so happy to hear that I made the lead that day, and today Hope and I got right back out there to make sure we remembered! I think we did alright. All the dogs on 13th were out barking. All the big treats were gone on the 1 block. It was like running the gauntlet, and I know Carrie would have been impressed! We even  stopped to talk to the basset hound guy for 10 minutes. They were barking their head's off, as bassets do, and Hope barely paid mind. She accepted a treat and pets from their owner. He loves that the dog trainers like his street to walk down. He understands what we are doing. He says some of his neighbors get cranky, but I have a sneaking suspicion if his bassets didn't bark...they might not mind so much. I think Hope did really good today on our walk. When we got home, I hate her wait for a very long time...ok a good 5 minutes. I was over by the porch at the end of the lead, and she waited in the truck.

Long enough for me to take a couple of picture and send them to Facebook. She stayed in the truck until I said OK!

I am so proud of my Hope, she is doing awesome. We hung out in the front yard for awhile. OK, me in the driveway, and Hope in the street. She was at the end of her lead, and I know she would have bolted if she wasn't on that lead. However, she did not pull and she kept coming back to check in and get a treat. I think she did awesome today!

There's our friends!

Hello all, it's me the Hopalope! Today has been a great day. Mom is really tired today from chemo, so I got my paws on the keyboard for her...aren't I a talented pooch? There is an angel watching over us. Carrie called mom today before my training, and told us that a special friend of ours called and paid for 3 training sessions for me! Maybe we are heading in the right direction after all. Plus, another special friend made a donation via our blog. This is so perfect, as guess what else Mom has found? She found somebody on Whocanhelp.com that is working on a logo with my head on it! Mom says we got the wheel in motion, now we just have to keep it going. Having somebody else do some of the work will help keep us moving forward.

Today Carrie took us to a great dog neighborhood. There were lots of dogs, but they were all behind fences. Carrie uses this neighborhood all the time for dogs like me. She knew where all the dogs lived, and what their habits were. So we worked a little bit more on our "this ways", so I can get better at not tripping  mom. I learned a lot about "there's our friends". They were all behind fences, so they couldn't be rude and come up and get in my face. I don't like it so well when dogs are rude and I don't know them. Carrie said I did very good. Mom thinks I did so good, that she almost couldn't reward me so well. This is because I was almost ignoring everybody! Mom says we will go back to the same neighborhood and do it again tomorrow- just me and mom. This way we will both  remember what Carrie taught us. So that's all for now. Mom says I need to go post a new picture on my facebook page, and call it good for the night. She says that she is super tired from chemo, but that she feels really good. A movie and snuggling with me will fix everything!

Getting ready to walk with Carrie, we love her!

Looking for resources to help get Hope trained

This is a letter looking for a scholarship for Hope's training. The lady that wrote me back suggested posting our story on her Facebook page. I couldn't figure out how to do it right, so it got turned into a blog, and I will post a blog link there instead. I feel like I am really putting myself out there, much more then I want to be. However this battle has forced me to get a bit creative, so here is the basics of what I am thinking.

5/17/11
Hello,
My name is Charmine and Hope is my girl. I rescued her from a Southern ID animal shelter last fall. I fell in love with pit bulls 20+ years ago, but the time was never right for my own. I have been battling St 4 breast cancer since Aug of 2009. In Nov of 2010, I spent a weekend in Butte, and was reminded of 2 things. My own pit bull was on my bucket list, and the therapeutic value of dogs. Needless to say, I started searching the Internet for a pibble to adopt as soon as I got back to my laptop. So many choices!

Then comes Hope! I found her on Petfinder, simply listed with a picture as a female pit bull mix, 2-3 years old- as an owner surrender. She was scheduled to be euthanized 2 days before I found her ad. The shelter was closed by then, so I emailed them to see if she was still alive. The ad also stated that she was good with dogs, cats and people. That was it. First thing Friday morning, I was back looking again, and had forgotten about the dog I had emailed about. I talked to a local rescue and was thinking about a mixed puppy, which really wasn't what I wanted. Then my husband reminded me about that email. I called the shelter and shelter told me she was still alive, but would be put down on Sunday. Shelter person told me the same thing the ad did. I was quite nervous, having never owned my own dog before. I couldn't understand why she was being put down, if she was so good. I showed my friend the ad, and asked him to call again...just to see if we got a different answer. Different person, same answer. As nervous as I was, (Mom IS a worry wart!) I knew that I had to go get her. I figured if she really was too much for me to handle, that we would save her and find her a more experienced home if need be. So off I went for a 16 hour round trip to go get her!

I told the shelter I was coming, and made arrangements to meet the animal control officer after hours to pick her up. Into the room I went to go meet her. All the other dogs were barking..except this beautiful girl. She was more interested in eating the boxer's kibble next to her, which had spilled out into her cage. She stopped and her attention was all mine when I found her. I knew right then that her name was Hope. Hope for a furever home for her, and Hope for me. See, my doctor told me a couple weeks before that with stage 4 recurrent breast cancer, his best guess was I have between 2 and 10 years left to live. I made up my mind right then that she was going to live a ripe old age, and I was going to out live her! The shelter was very kind, and did not charge us her adoption fee, once they found out that she was my bucket list dog.
Hope is my girl. She stays right by my side. My goal for her is to become a certified therapy dog, so we can go spread Hope in the cancer center. She is a very good girl, just needs more socializing and training. Mom needs more training, to build Mom's confidence that she is training Hope right. Since I adopted Hope, we had to move into a friend's basement. I have had a very rough couple of years, and have since divorced my husband. So now we live with a rottweiler and a young lab. We do good with the other dogs, but not perfect as they are un-neutered, and un-trained males. Currently we are working with Wind River Tails & Trails for boarding and training.

The dilemma is this. My doctor has put me on disability for an undetermined amount of time. I called WRTT, and had them max out my credit card to start training Hope. I believe that they are already giving us a discounted rate. Due to the other dog/children situation in the house, I chose to have Hope boarded while I visited my grandmother, and again when I go to a much needed breast cancer retreat next week. I figured this was a much better option then spending it on training, then taking a chance on something bad happening while I was gone. I have $40 left on my tab after boarding. So I have enough for 1 more training session, which will involve strange dog training, for lack of better terms. I am probably short about $1000 to get her trained and certified. I am quite stressed between her and I both needing more training. I am terrified something bad will happen, if I don't get her trained. Mom is really lost right now, and I need something positive to focus on now, so I can heal myself. Both Hope and I really need a "job" to do, and I believe therapy work is what both of us need, and soon!

My other concern with Hope is also to get her trained well, in case my cancer doesn't shape up and ship out. Not happening, but I do have to be realistic as far as Hope is concerned. If something were to happen to me, I would want her to continue on as a therapy dog if possible. I know that her being well trained, will make a huge difference in who's home she would go to live if something were to happen to me. She is my only child, and she is a very special girl. I know, aren't they all?

So when I ran across your Facebook page, I thought maybe you could help. What I am looking for is a scholarship, or charity type assistance to help with Hope's training. I have been looking on the internet, but am not running across anything that we would be applicable for. Do you have any ideas, or resources that I can check into? Thank you for getting involved and being there for pibbles in MT! I didn't run across your site when I started searching. Thanks so much for your time!

Sincerely, Charmine and Hope

6/2/11 PS-Since I have written the above note, I have created a Facebook page for Hope. We share my blog, as 2 blogs is too much for me. There is a donation button on the bottom of our blog. I feel really uncomfortable having it there, but I am at a loss on what to do. I am in the process of looking for someone to help me design a logo for Charmine's Hope. With this logo, I hope to start selling t-shirts etc. to start generating some income. I am on a very small disability, and will not be going back to my prior source of income. These (hopeful) monies will be first and foremost used to finish Hope's training, and yes- to put some extra monies in my own pocket. Then when Hope and I are back on track, I would like to continue with the fundraising efforts to pay it forward to some very worthy breast cancer foundations. 2 that have touched me personally are Tough Enough to Wear Pink, and Lotus Survival Foundation.

You see, these foundations help take care of survivors in the HERE AND NOW. These are not foundations raising money for a cure. Yes, the cure is very important, but I don't believe they are lacking in as much funding as the here and now. For me personally, finances were and still are my number 1 stress factor. My disability check does not allow for any extras at all. If I am in this boat, I know many others are as well. How many of us go with out the extra vitamin supplements, that help us keep our immune system and energy levels up, because Medicaid and insurance doesn't cover it? What about eating better, which means I should be buying organic when applicable. What about dealing with the mind and soul aspect of things? Many cancer centers offer additional therapies for free. Sadly, Missoula does not appear to have much available. This is something I would like to work on, when I get back on track. This means I have to earn income in a more creative way, so I have the time and energy to work on other projects. Many of us have clothing issues due to surgery scars, and weight gain or loss. What about even just some extra gas money to get out of the house and see a dear friend, or a book about dealing with cancer. Please don't think I am complaining, as I do have it better now, much more then a year ago.

A year ago, I was married and strapped as financially tight as could be. My husband owned a business in a very bad economy, so I did not qualify for Montana's Breast & Cervical Program. Everything had to be paid for out of pocket. Medicaid wouldn't touch me at that point either. I had to call and cancel 3 different times (in tears) just for an appointment just to find out about breast reconstruction. I felt like I was going to have to walk around lopsided for the rest of my life, because I had made some bad financial decisions somewhere along the way and couldn't come up with $125 for a consultation to find out how much reconstruction would cost. These are just some of the obvious things that financially strapped survivors may be going without. I can only imagine what the other unspoken needs are, and most of us prefer to be pretty quiet about these needs. I personally do not want to ask for help, unless I can offer something in return. I don't have a lot to offer in return right now, just a lot of promises to pay it forward when I get back on my feet.

So as you can see, things are looking up. I do have a small disability check, and Medicaid is now picking up the tab. I have Hope in many more ways then one. I am taking all I am learning and trying to hold onto it, so I can help guide someone else down the road. This cancer is my blessing, and I know that I am becoming a much better quality of person along this journey. I can see that I do make a difference in other's lives, and I will continue to do so. I never asked to take this journey, but I walk my path willingly and graciously.

Out with Carrie from Wind River Tails and Trails

OK folks, I am trying hard to stay on top of my blogging. I'm falling behind, as I think I have 3 blogs in the process, and aren't getting any of them finished :( Mom is TIRED! I think I used every bit of energy in Florida last week. It is all I can do to not turn this laptop off until I get 1 blog finished. I really can't believe how exhausted I am now, and last week I was so full of pep at my retreat. I should probably make my unfinished retreat blog much shorter, so it gets posted and then I will feel as if I've accomplished something.
  So Saturday was dog training day. I chose to stay home for a dog training session, instead of going to memorial services for a friend who passed from pancreatic cancer 2 weeks past. I just didn't have it in me this time for the circumstances that I would be going there under. Plus, Hope's training is so uber important. I have her scheduled for 3 sessions, as Carrie is a very busy lady. This is where I cross my fingers that the money will be there for Hope's training. I did not want to schedule training sessions that I do not have the money for. Waiting for the money to schedule is putting us too far out of whack in scheduling. Maybe this is the part where I need to practice having more faith that things will be alright. If I don't have the money on hand when I need to schedule something, things have the tendency to get put on the back burner. I can't do that with this. It is too important.

 Here is Carrie Hunt with Wind River Tails & Trails spending a few moments with the whole crew. JD the rottie, Justice the yellow lab, and Hope the pit bull. They LOVE Carrie and you know she always has lots of yummy treats!

 OH what good dogs they are, all lined up for Carrie! They are practicing their best manners.
Then it was Hope time, and of course I packed the camera, but took no pictures. Mom was a little bit tense, as she is very unsure of other dogs and Hope. I was much more relaxed armed with Carrie this time. Hope impressed Carrie, as we started out. She got to show off for Carrie how well she is doing her waits, comes, this ways and over the ditch. Carrie says that Hope is one of the fastest learning dogs she has ever taught. She also says that mom is doing very good with her too. I feel very comfortable that I have this part down pretty good. Now onto other dogs. I am still nervous, but feeling better. We had a pretty intense dog walk through a part of my neighborhood where dogs aren't all fenced. Carrie was with us though, and we got through it. We got to meet some neighbor dogs, and some went better then others. If all the dogs were behind fences like they should be, it would have been much easier. I don't feel quite confident that Hope and I are ready to fly on our own with this one quite yet, but we will get there. The best part is that Carrie does not believe Hope is dog aggressive. She doesn't think that she wants to go pick a fight. However, she will not tolerate rude dogs that get right in her face. Carrie thinks that it is more of a socialization issue with Hope. I am so happy that I have Carrie on board with us! As you can see from the pictures, she does have manners, and has some social skills. With Carrie's help, I have faith that someday I won't have to worry as much.
  Hope was boarded at Wind River while I was in Florida last week. She also decided to do a little showing of down there, as she scaled a 5 foot fence while she was there. Mom's not thrilled with it, and thankfully it ended well. I'm glad that she showed off and nothing bad happened, only so we know better what we are dealing with. When Carrie was here for training, she finally got a chance to check out my electric fence. After the fence scaling incident, Carrie really wanted to make sure that my electric fence was right. It looked good, but unbeknownst to me...it was not running full power. Thank you for pushing the issue Carrie! My fence was fine, but if you  looked at the battery box close...it wasn't even grounded. Carrie told me to get a better tester, as in one that shows you how many volts it's putting out...and to test it every day. Now I can see that my visual check is not enough. Plus, when I got the right voltage checker, I discovered that even all hooked up right was not right. The battery was only putting out about 2000 volts, when it should be 5000. Back to Quality Supply I went, and got the box exchanged. So the electric fence is finally right, and I got the grass under the fence line under control. Now hopefully the 9 year old who is convinced it doesn't work, will still continue to leave it alone!



Hope soaking up the sun while Mom works on the electric fencing.