Wednesday, October 21, 2009 Thoughts on quitting smoking and & $!

Wednesday, October 21, 2009 Thoughts on quitting smoking and & $!


Good morning all!

Today is a better morning then yesterday. I am feeling well, but my mind is cloudy. First off...I HAVE to quit smoking....I don't want to! I know I need to, but don't I have enough on my plate already? I'm supposed to put on a patch tomorrow, in honor of the day that I met my hubby. I'm trying not to smoke like a chimney, which I should have started at the beginning of the week. I have 10 cigarettes left for today, with another pack in the freezer. Honey, I know I'm supposed to start the patch tomorrow, but let me see if I can stay under 10, and take it outside. I promise I will do this. Then try the patch on Monday. OMG, I just sound aweful, and I know I need to. Anybody ever tried Hypnosis?

My mind is also a bit clearer about finances. What am I going to do about this? Still don't know, but I am calmer today. Here I am typing now, instead of doing work, and calling the social worker to see what she says to do. I have been avoiding it, but I need to get on it. I am having a really hard time wrapping my brain around this. I don't want someone else to pay for this, but yet I really can't afford another payment. My debt, even though it's not my fault...just the way the ball bounces. I already am having a hard time meeting prior obligations, some which include past medical bills. I feel guilty because I have an oppurtunity to sign an oil and gas lease in Texas. Currently this would bring in just a few thousand dollars. This is mineral rights that I didn't know existed until a year ago. This is left over from an inheritance wen I was 16. I blew $60,000 by the time I was 21. When I found out about the leasing oppurtunity, and how much it is possibly worth...I thought, cool I get another chance to do it again right this time. Invest it wisely. Now I don't even want to touch the lease, because rightfully it should pay off some past debt. I don't want to do that...I want the chance again to invest in my future. Not that I don't want to pay the debts owed, as I do. But this money, could be invested to the future. Especially if I sit on it, and wait for the leasing to pick up...then maybe $20,000. Even then, $20,0000 would be gone- with nothing to show for it again, except some bills paid. Am I wrong, or being greedy? Does anybody have a better way to wrap my brain around this?