So there it is, welcome to the rest of my life- whether it be 2 years or 60 years. There is no cure, and no guarantee. Now the fight is on to keep me healthy, alive and keep the crap from spreading any farther. The bad side is this. It will do no good to operate, nor to radiate. The cells have spread too far. I have a mass on my mastectomy side of my chest. I have a positive lymph node in my right armpit. I have a positive lymph node buried under my left collar bone. We are not sure if it is 1, or more then 1, positive node buried inside me under my sternum somewhere. It has spread past my lymph nodes that drain the breast area. So it has definitely metastasized. This means chemo treatments until further notice, until they are gone. Chemo may or may not work. If one doesn't work, we will try another. The good news is it has not spread to my blood, bones or vital organs.
Currently I now take 3 pills with breakfast, and 3 pills with dinner. They are called Xeloda. I shouldn't get any of the real bad side effects, as I am not 80. So I SHOULD not lose my hair, nausea should not be an issue, nor energy loss. Diarrhea may be an issue, and doc needs to know. Can't just pop a diarrhea pill this time, as he needs to know how bad it is getting. Hand and foot syndrome is the other concern. My palms and soles will probably get red and rashy, call the doc if I can't function as normal. The mouth sores will also be back. The most important part is to really pay attention on how I am reacting. I won't see my oncologist every 2 weeks like before, so I need to make sure to communicate well with him. I do the pill routine for 2 weeks on, and 1 week off. I will go see doc again in 6 weeks. He measured my mass, and felt my armpit node. He says he will know if those 2 shrink, then the rest are as well. He will switch me to a different chemo pill in another year most likely. He needs to be sure I am post menopausal before he does that. I am on chemo until further notice. Either when they are totally shrunk up, or it just isn't working anymore. Hopefully my body will allow me to hang on until there is a cure found, or until it is my natural time to go. He had a lady on the same pill for 4 years. She was my age. As far as I could tell from the story, I believe he took her off because it fixed it. He says she did great, and she carried on as normal- that you couldn't tell she was in the battle of her life. There is so much hope, even though the news doesn't sound great.
There is so much I don't understand about this. This was a huge amount of information to shove into a 45 minute doctor's visit. Don't go look this up on the internet! I know that it is not as bad as what the internet says. They give you statistics, but they don't tell you anything about the different situations. I am probably much younger and healthier then the statistics people were. Plus- how old are the statistics? They come up with new meds and research every day. Don't cry for me- love me, and support me! Celebrate however much time we have left together. Learn and educate ourselves, to do the best we can to prevent someone else to have to walk in these shoes. Help me to remember to live each day like it is my last, and then maybe I will have many more. Be there for the ones closest to me- they may really be the ones that need your strength and support. Life's been good to me so far!
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