Wednesday, January 27, 2010 The worst is supposed to be over now

Wednesday, January 27, 2010 The worst is supposed to be over now



Done, done, done, done! No more chemo, just got to get past whatever side effects this round wants to throw at me now. I felt a bit tired during treatment on Monday, and was awake most of the night. My poor husband just laughs at me by now. First you're hot, then you're cold, and now you are wide awake! We fell asleep last night by 9:30 to a movie I think, and wide awake at 1:30...both of us. Poor guy- I convinced him that we needed to watch a movie at 3 am, so we'd go back to sleep. I put in a movie about the last 2 cops pulled out of the World Trade Center, that he really didn't want to watch. My poor husband needs a nap now, as I fell back asleep about 10 minutes into the movie....and he watched the whole thing. Good thing he loves me so! Hopefully the aches won't get me too bad, and I will sleep tonight. I haven't felt any yet this time. Chemo decided I needed diarea today. I was quite happy that I still have pills for that, as I didn't fell like hanging out in the bathroom all day. I am also quite excited, as I get to go to a fun doctor's appointment tomorrow. I am going in for my green card tomorrow. I can't see any reason why they won't give me one given the circumstances.

Given the circumstances...that sounds so much better then I am sick, or have cancer. I stumble everytime I try to describe what I have...or don't have. I'm not sick...just the treatment makes me ill. I had cancer, but it is gone now...that's why I'm missing a boob right? We cut it all out of me, and the treatments make sure there are no lingering cells. So in my mind...I don't have cancer anymore. I guess that is a good question for the doc...at what point in time am I considered cancer free? I don't like to say I have cancer, because then people feel bad for you...so I want to be able to say it is gone.