Here we go with the uh-oh, what's wrong with me now!Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Everybody says it will happen. I knew it would, just wasn't sure how it would manifest itself. I feel kind of swollen under my right armpit. Best description I can come up with is it feels like Dr. Pickhardt has been prodding around my lymph nodes again. My right armpit- not the left one that had surgery. Of course I had to go prodding around in there, and so of course I feel a lump in there. Hubby finally felt it too, so it is not my imagination. No wonder it is tender with all that prodding! No really- I'm sure it is nothing. I called the breast care coordinator, and Char says that I might have a little infection somewhere that is causing my nodes to swell. Which is what I figured, though I have never had these particular nodes feel this way. She says to take some ibuprofen or Tylenol and see if the swelling goes down by next week. If not, then go get it checked. She says peace of mind is worth it all. It all makes sense to me. I just don't want to go running to the doctor everythime something feels funky. How does one know when to worry, is the million dollar question. Even through out this process, my body is still on it's own natural aging course- so what is really going on here? What is really going on here is I am still alive and kicking. The fear of the cancer coming back will never go away. The beauty of it is this- I am not afraid. I hope it doesn't come back- but I can do it again if I have to. I will not let my fears govern my actions, my life. I am in charge here....not some cancer that may or may not choose to rear it's ugly head again. Oh yes, one other little useful tidbit. I was visiting a friend the other day who just wrapped up treatment for prostrate cancer. He says he can't get all his energy back yet. I feel the same, but thought it was more due to all the rain and economy. Char says count the months one was in treatment. She says it will be about that many more months before one feels back to the new normal, after finishing treatment. I'm having a hard time swallowing that from my position today, but she should know! OK, off for now- toodles!