Companionship

Well, here I am. Honestly, a bit of a basket case right now, as it has been a really has been a crazy 3 years. I think this is what worries me most about dating, as I just don't have it in me for the BS and games that can come with dating. I want peace, calm, and to feel loved and protected. I want to have fun, cook & share a bottle a bottle of wine with someone in front of the funnies, someone to to come with when Hope and I walk, to crank the jams with, or see a show with, jump in the truck and go for a drive, take a ride with. I'm just in kind of a weird place, as I have just been keeping so close to home. Healing from somethings and battling others. Just someone to hang out with will be a huge improvement for the battle attitude I think. Getting lonely and depressed will surely do nothing but harm. I know I am loved, and have a lot of friends all over the place, but it's just not the same as a bit more intimate relationship.

I find it interesting (and it makes me happy) that that is really my biggest concern when it comes to dating. I'm really not too worried about being lopsided, and not too terribly concerned about how I look- I clean up when I want to! I'm still me regardless, and I always hope my beauty radiates from the inside out anyways. I'm not worried about dying on someone either. That's for someone else to decide for themselves pretty much- if they can deal with the possibility. I do believe it is still better to have loved then not! At it's worst, love can be hideous, but at it's best- there is nothing better. Good companionship would really make me smile right now!